Double Trouble

I don't usually do matchmaking, but a recently-divorced woman friend of mine is so damned pretty, she needs to get married off immediately. In her current single state she's a liability to all other single women.

I also have a man friend who's single, smart, and employed. Fortunately I'm not attracted to him. I decided he was the perfect sacrificial victim for getting my pretty friend off the market.

To set up their first date, I began by talking to the man. He asked a lot of questions about my pretty friend, such as was she employed, did she go to college, did she drink beer and did she like sports? The answer to all those questions was yes. 

 "One more question," he said. "Has she ever been married?"

"Yes," I said. "Five times."

"Five times?" he said. "If she's been married five times, something is obviously wrong with her."

 "Nothing is wrong with her," I said. "She's so beautiful and smart, everyone wants to marry her. We'd all be married five times if we had the kind of love opportunities she's presented with."

"I dunno," he said. "She sounds like trouble."

"Think about it," I said. "Call me tomorrow."

Then I talked to the woman friend. She asked the same questions he asked, including the one about being married.

"He's never been married," I said.

"If he's never been married, something is obviously wrong with him," she said.

"Nothing is wrong with him," I said. "He was busy getting his career going before he made a commitment to marriage and children."

"I dunno," she said. "He sounds like trouble."

"Think about it," I said. "Call me tomorrow."

Neither one ever called me again.

I'm glad I got rid of them. They were both trouble.